So, I am sure that others have posted their versions of how to do this before, but this is my version of how to get your boss into bed. I want to clarify that by "boss" I mean "guy who you work with who would get fired for fucking you". This step-by-step is coming from my own personal experience. It is intended for a female to follow in order to seduce a male boss. If your interest is to cuddle, date, marry, or make love to your boss, this is not for you. Your goal in this must be pure fornication.
Step 1. Look attractive at work. You do not have to be a supermodel, you do not have to be skinny, you do not have to be rich, blonde, tall, or anything else. Just do your makeup and wear your hair down, wear clothes that are reasonably modern and fit you in an especially flattering way. No need to show an inappropriate amount of skin. This is, of course, good advice for impressing men in general.SIDE NOTE: If you think you will ever want to have sex with your boss, get his phone number as soon as possible. Get a few people's numbers as work contacts. You could ask your boss for the other managers' numbers and ask if he thinks you should have those as well. No need to make any hints or suggestions about ulterior motives at this time. See step 2. Step 2. Be Coy Be witty and confident whenever you 'happen' to be around your boss, but do not overtly seek out his attention. If he happens to hear you make a hilariously sarcastic comment to a group of coworkers as he walks by you, great. Allow him to see you being personal with others, versus purely professional. Smile openly and laugh adorably. When he approaches you and tries to say something funny, be polite, but don't act impressed. If you can, retort with something sharp and witty, smile as if you just owned him, and go back to work. Step 3. Go outside of work together Whether it is a lunch or happy hour, group or one-on-one, get him to see you outside of work. It is again important to be coy when you interact. Make it seem like he just happened to be there. You aren't interested in his presence, it wasn't the reason you went, but when he talks to you, look him directly in the eyes. He will see your eyes, and might suddenly notice your sexy mouth or cleavage since u took your jacket off because it was warm. If you don't already have it, this could be an opportunity to get his phone number.Step 4. Private conversationWait for the right moment, then send a private text, asking him a question. You can lead in with a brief question about work, then take it to something like, "Is anyone going for happy hour tonight?" and allow the conversation to evolve. It may end with just a winky-face or an invitation for a one-on-one meeting. If he wants photos, demand he send one first, and try to get his face in anything nude. Do not send him any nude photos with your face in it. There may be some conversation of "I don't wanna get in trouble..." so play that cool and say something about you both being adults.Step 5. Check your emotionsAt this point you can assume he has already masturbated to the thought of banging you. You need to determine two things before you execute. One, you should be sure that he is interested in NSA sex, and will actually go through with it. If you ask a coworker and they say he's a slut, you are probably golden. If he sent you a dick pic, you are probably golden. If he is taking you to dinner and talking about work or marriage, abort. Two, you need to make sure your head is on straight. This is an office hookup, not a romance. The goal is here is sex, not marriage, not dating, not friendship. You must be able to maintain complete professionalism and discretion at work on Monday, so be absolutely sure this won't be awkward. If you think he might tell someone, be sure that you are prepared to believably deny, deny, deny. Step 6. Seal the dealGet alone with him, at his place if you can. Don't waste too much time, get as much booze in you as necessary, then get to the bedroom (or couch, floor, kitchen sink) as quickly as possible. This not only reduces the likelihood of him backing out, but also sends a clear message of your intentions. Tell him how much fun it was, but don't stay the night and don't leave anything at his place. If he makes any comments about being weird at work, just retort with something like "Are you kidding" and move on. Step 7. Mum is the fucking wordIt was crazy, and awesome, and hopefully the sex was incredible. But you are now required to shut the fuck up forever. You can not tell a single person at work. I don't care if the person in the next cubicle over is your lunchtime walk partner or your work husband or "like your little brother" or anything else. For male coworkers, if you have spoken to him before, the thought of sleeping with you has probably crossed his mind. Even hinting to another male that you may have slept with the boss will arouse an instinctual reaction in him to eliminate the competition. For female coworkers, the same instincts apply. Don't do it. If you have a best friend outside of work, completely not associated with anyone at work, you can tell her. Other than that, if you value anything about your job and/or ever want to sleep with your boss again, keep this one to yourself. Also, all flirting now ends. No smirking, no giggling, no touching your hair, no emailing. If he tries any of this bullshit, don't let him blow your cover. Just come to work looking hot and act as if work is all you can think about. If it is going to happen again, he has to learn how to behave. And if he does, and if he is the one who proposes a round 2, and if you would like a round 2, then he may be granted his wish. Proceed from Step 5.
